Favorite Things

It's hard to express how I feel about music; I'd like to get lost in it and never find my way out. I like to try to create music by singing (most of the day you can hear me attempting this feat); however, I can't quite make it sound like it does in my head. I thought I always wanted to sing in a band, but when given the opportunity, like last Friday night at Collision, I find that it's quite terrifying, and I can't wait to get off the stage.

Is it possible that something you fear and dread can eventually become one of your favorite things?  Perhaps.  I have a lot of favorite things: sea turtles, cats, lizards, birds, expensive paint, exotic paintbrushes, tiny over-priced cubist canvases, coffee table books with glossy pages, the color of Theresa's beets that she made me eat, novels by George Eliot, leather journals from Barnes & Noble, songs by Thom Yorke, stories about how people found God, or how God found people, leather boots, good coffee after a good meal, cotton scarves, good friends crowded together in a small room, happy endings in real life, family members... All of those things, as far as I know, I loved from the start and didn't have to fear and dread first.  All of them except family members, of course.

I had a moment worthy of my favorites list today when a friend mentioned that, because the Bible says we ought to mourn over sin, he once threw dirt from the garden on his head in mourning over a foolish thing he'd done that caused someone pain.  I laughed hysterically when I heard it, but wouldn't you like to have a friend like that?  We'd all be better off if we mourned a little more, I think.  Perhaps they were right in canonizing Solomon's stuff after all.
Well, I have a lot of dirt to throw for my vocal performance on Friday.  Maybe with a little practice I can turn the whole affair into a joyous one for both me and those forced to listen.  Dave, please plug my monitor in next time.

Practically Joking

So the owner of our printing company made a big stink yesterday about how he hated the new order forms we designed for UV coating jobs. Basically, he didn't like the purple color, or so the story goes.  Too bad, because we had already printed a billion of them, or maybe just a few hundred thousand, hard to tell. "I never want to see these again, get them outta my sight!" he said, or something like that.

So, one of our own, to remain unnamed, decided to rally a dozen or so more employees to wallpaper the owner's entire office (desk, file cabinets, computer, chair, and every other imaginable surface) with said order forms. They brought tacos for all the willing wallpaperers.  It was a noisy, if not fairly speedy, affair.

Beautifully done, if I say so myself.  Be careful what you yell about; make sure it would make a bad wallpaper, or at least make sure that whoever you're yelling at doesn't have a key to your office.

My House Shall be Called a House of Mirth? Or Something Like That

I like funny people.  No, rather, I fall in love with funny people, and especially funny Christian people.  I can't believe they exist at all!  I don't know about you, but most of my experiences within churches have been decidedly un-funny.
Perhaps this is because the Bible says things like, "As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon soda, so is he that singeth songs to a heavy heart" (Proverbs 25:20), and "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth" (Ecclesiastes 7:4). 
So, now that we're all clear on the fact that my constant singing is causing countless people unbearable pain and offense (I think I already knew that somehow), and my constant laughing proves that I have the heart of a fool, let's move on to how these two books of the Bible should never have been canonized in the first place (what did Solomon know, anyway?).

The Holy Spirit is quite funny, or at least funny things happen when He's around. Funny languages, funny falling down, funny people laughing at nothing, funny rolling on the floor.

How's about you and me working together to pump up the fool's heart in all of us? I think God would approve.

Thank you very little: Comedic Dreams of an Aspiring Songwriter

So I was asking the Lord, y'know, "What should I be doing these days?" I was thinking I already knew what He would say. I was at least hoping for "Songwriting!" or "Poetry, my dear, poetry!" or even "Start your novel, it'll be epic."

I don't actually know if God answered me, but what I do remember is having a dream that night wherein I was doing a lot of stand-up comedy.  This was a bit disappointing.  I was hoping to cause doves to weep and hearts to break open for the Lord with musical genius, or at least have a Harry-Potter-like following right away with my opening novel.  But comedy?  Not only have I never done comedy, but the truth is that my little sister is the only one who ever gets my jokes...all my Bible jokes.

I'll just pretend I had a dream about drawing my graphic novel and bust out the pencils.